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Category Archives: Sick Sad World

Auto-Complete My Life

As everyone knows, Google search will helpfully try to auto-complete your query.  I typed in  a few fun party-topic starters, and :::sigh::: here’s what I got.

Let’s start with the eternal question: “Why ……”

 

why

That escalated quickly, as they say.  I think the pdf file is the least of your worries, because you are dead.

 

Let’s try “Why are…”

 

whyare

 

The top 5 concerns of googlers, I guess.  Let me try to help.

  1.  I don’t know, never quite got that figured out myself.  Gave up.
  2.   See #1
  3.   Also #1
  4.   Because.  Get over it.

 

Alrrighttt time to talk politics!

trump

  1.  He’s an overgrown Oompa-Loompa that escaped, obviously
  2.  He’s a bored rich man who craves any attention, negative or otherwise
  3.  No one knows for sure
  4.  You know damn well why, and it’s terrifying

 

hillary

 

  1. Why indeed
  2.  Because Bill lost a bet
  3.  She’s like “meh, why not”

 

bernie

 

  1. Holy shit, read something
  2. He’s everyone’s adorable and angry Jewish grandpa
  3. So many reasons.  So many.

 

Alright, enough politics.  Battle of the sexes?

 

women

  1.  Have you seen the price of tampons?  Bras?
  2.  We have ice-spider nests where our souls should be
  3.  Why are you so emotionless?
  4.  Wow, misogynist much?

men

 

  1.  Wait you just said women are mean, make up your mind
  2.  To give us piggyback rides
  3.  See #2
  4.  They won’t give us piggyback rides

 

 

Sorry for the shitpost, may edit it later.  Not on my game lately, y’all take care of yourselves and I’ll try to be wittier in the future.

I’m Baaackkkk

Well I’ve been gone awhile.  A lot has happened, in my life and in Game of Thrones.  I logged in and saw I had a nice comment, so I responded with my typical serene maturity.

suck

 

So I clearly haven’t changed any.  Good for me.  Ok let’s do some posts.

At Least 60 Game of Thrones Memes

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So I  finally binge-watched GoT.  I found some memes to bring y’all.   There’s at least 60 of them, I lost count because whiskey.  If you haven’t caught up yet there may be some spoilers here and also, what is wrong with you?  Catch up!  So here ya go, and you don’t even have to click and click to a next page (I hate that shit), I’m just plopping them down for you to scroll through.  You’re welcome.

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22 Excellent and Inappropriate Breakup Memes NSFW (or your ex)

If you’re going through a rough breakup, or have been through a painful breakup in the past, you know those feels.  Once you’re done crying, perhaps you just want to punch something or someone until you tire out, then take a nice nap.  I have been through all the phases of breakup, and while it is still too raw to write an amusing blog post about, I have collected 26 memes to hopefully make you smile and laugh, perhaps the first time since that rotten asshole did what they did.  Yeah, they know what they did.  Motherfuckers.

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breakup7Unless you’re my ex, then apparently that’s an acceptable way to break up.

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Sadbuttrue

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If you do this, you will have a bad time.  Now tell me how to stop.

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Or, ya know, a blog post.

breakup14When you see the THOT she (or he) gets with.

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I think this is basically my ex’s line of thought.

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Here are some final thoughts from your fractured friend LadyApathetica:

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It’s true.  Trust.  Take care of yourself, love and value yourself, and the right person will come along and appreciate you.  Don’t ask me when!  I don’t know!  I’m trying to be supportive here!  Also…..

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Yep.  One day at a time.  It’s gonna be alright.  Promise.

6 FAQ’s About The Current Situation in North Charleston Answered By A Local

So lovely to see the city where I live in the national news!  What a surprise it’s because of a racially-motivated crime! (Do you detect sarcasm, because I keep having to wipe it off my keyboard.)   Have you wondered what the average local citizen thinks?  Well I am here, as an average local citizen, to do an FAQ for you.

1.  Well you’re all racist and backwards down there anyway, right?

I know it’s hard to believe, but no, we are not.  Yes, we have racists like anywhere else, and yes they tend to be more vocal and in positions of power down south, but many natives do not think this way, and many of us down here (like myself) are Northern transplants.   Being Northern by blood doesn’t mean non-racist by any means, but we are not all backwards Confederate-flag waving, cousin-humping bumpkins down here.  Truly.  Promise.   Also, in this area there are many immigrants, both legal and otherwise, who have different perspectives and are also victimized by authority…..but that’s for another post.

2. Do you think this crime was racially motivated?

Absolutely, and if anyone tries to deny that, they are either kidding themselves or are flat-out racists.  It shouldn’t come as a shock to anyone that the south has a huge issue with race, and modern times has only made it less outspoken in public.  We all know actions speak louder than words, and if Walter Scott had been white, do you think he would have been shot?  (The answer is no.  There is no other option.  No.)

3.  How is Charleston going to react to this incident?

Surprising everyone including myself, the officer who killed Mr. Scott has been arrested and charged.  He will face the court, and if he is found not-quilty….well….in my eyes they better have a legit heapload of evidence to back that up; at this time there is no reason to find him anything BUT guilty.

There are memorials and marches ongoing, and currently the city government is doing the right thing.  “Currently” is the key word, stay tuned.

4.  How can we fix racism in the south?

The easy answer is education.  We have Black history month once a year, and barely any in schools.  When African-Americans are not represented as equally contributing to our nation in school, how can (some) adults then see them as equals?  Unless they research on their own…..and how many adults do you know that rationally say “hmmm….I better look into this topic I am unsure of before I form an opinion…..”……..they are going to only pick up on and believe in how the media projects different races.  For example, a quick scan of television would reveal:  Asian: smart;  Middle Eastern: dangerous;  Black: criminals;  Whites:  over-privileged.  Stereotypes influence how humans think of others more than most of us would like to admit.

To fix racism, we have to ensure equal opportunity in EVERYTHING.  No, that is not a reality in our world yet.  Only when we are all given equal opportunities on this planet will we be judged by our actions instead of our skin.  So, yes, it’s a damn-near impossible goal.  We have a long way to go with that, and the best way to see it come to fruition is to accelerate the process.  Teach our kids in school and at home that we are earthlings in this together, that all races contribute to society, and never deny that injustice has been done in the past and those cruel injustices reverberate today and still effect people’s lives.

It’s quite utopian, I admit.  It can’t happen overnight, but that’s no reason to give up the dream.

5.  Are you annoyed with all the media hoopla?

Yes and no.  In one way, the overhyped media can cause one to become numb to the stories.  It’s so in your face everywhere that you tune it out and become annoyed even if at first you were glued to the updates and details.  In another way, the media attention means the issue will be big enough (and it should be) to not be dropped or swept away.  It will stay in the mind and on the tongues of citizens.  When it comes to this type of situation, this is more important than any Kardashian and should rightly have precedence over more trivial news.  Racial violence effects everyone in America and we need dialogue on it.  It’s real and happens every day and its been ignored for much too long.

6.   What’s next for the average citizen of North Charleston?

We’re getting on with our lives, work, and families, but those of us with an iota of reality are increasingly wary of authority figures.  We know power is abused and it will only get worse if we don’t take a stand.  We know the “good guys” in each bunch, but we are aware of corruption at every level, and honestly?  We feel a bit powerless to stop it.  We need our local government behind us, not against us, or we will not feel safe.   The average citizen truly hopes this will be a turning point for change in our society, and not just another lesson in lip-service bark-but-no-bite politics.

20 Ridiculous Church Marquee Signs

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Amirite?

Personally, I do not church, but I enjoy a sign with innuendo because I’m secretly a 14 year old boy.   Would you like to see some funny church marquees?  Yes?  Commence with the scrolling, amen.

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ooooooh noooooo

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Good one, but I feel strongly that a church of all places should know how to spell “altar.”

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Ok this one isn’t sexual, just weird. Spiritual Marshmallows…….great band name.

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Ah….HAAAAAaaaaaaaa

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Thanks for the warning

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Also not sexual, but I really like this one

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Wow

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Guess I don’t have any real friends, then

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Heh heh.  Indeed.

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Works for my dad.

(Ok, so I have some non-innuendo signs in here.  Get over it.)

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Back dat ass up for Jezub

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Heh heh heh heh

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Noted.

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It’s just polyester anyway, I prefer silk.

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Will do

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Churches make me nervous

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Nice

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can’t even

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Yes?

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Hope they marinate him first

7 Stars You May Not Know Were in The X-Files

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Geeks, dorks,and nerds fangasmed recently at the announcement that The X-Files are coming back,and if this turns out to be an elaborate April Fool’s joke, I will find whoever is responsible and push their grandma down the stairs.

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I want to believe……

     To celebrate the good news, here are five celebs you will certainly recognize from popular shows that you may not have known were in The X-Files.

1.  Laurie Holden

     Who?  Andrea from The Walking Dead was in several episodes, rocking some bitchin’ 90’s hair.

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2.  Terry O’ Quinn

      John Locke from LOST wore a creepy mustache for his turn on the series.

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3.  Jack Black

      You know who Jack Black is.  Here he is as a young disheveled punk on the show, and that’s Giovanni Ribisi, who also did his time on the paranormalfest.

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4.  Bryan Cranston

      Malcom’s dad and meth-afficianado played a part as well.

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5.  Jane Lynch

     From Glee and much more, of course.

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6.  Octavia Spencer

     She’s been in a lot of things, and you may recognize her from The Help.

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7.  Kurtwood Smith

     Eric’s dad from That 70’s Show looks like he’d put more than a boot in your ass.

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        Jerry Springer and Dick Clark played themselves on the show, and there are so many more; check out the roll-call on IMDB and see who you recognize.