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Auto-Complete My Life

As everyone knows, Google search will helpfully try to auto-complete your query.  I typed in  a few fun party-topic starters, and :::sigh::: here’s what I got.

Let’s start with the eternal question: “Why ……”

 

why

That escalated quickly, as they say.  I think the pdf file is the least of your worries, because you are dead.

 

Let’s try “Why are…”

 

whyare

 

The top 5 concerns of googlers, I guess.  Let me try to help.

  1.  I don’t know, never quite got that figured out myself.  Gave up.
  2.   See #1
  3.   Also #1
  4.   Because.  Get over it.

 

Alrrighttt time to talk politics!

trump

  1.  He’s an overgrown Oompa-Loompa that escaped, obviously
  2.  He’s a bored rich man who craves any attention, negative or otherwise
  3.  No one knows for sure
  4.  You know damn well why, and it’s terrifying

 

hillary

 

  1. Why indeed
  2.  Because Bill lost a bet
  3.  She’s like “meh, why not”

 

bernie

 

  1. Holy shit, read something
  2. He’s everyone’s adorable and angry Jewish grandpa
  3. So many reasons.  So many.

 

Alright, enough politics.  Battle of the sexes?

 

women

  1.  Have you seen the price of tampons?  Bras?
  2.  We have ice-spider nests where our souls should be
  3.  Why are you so emotionless?
  4.  Wow, misogynist much?

men

 

  1.  Wait you just said women are mean, make up your mind
  2.  To give us piggyback rides
  3.  See #2
  4.  They won’t give us piggyback rides

 

 

Sorry for the shitpost, may edit it later.  Not on my game lately, y’all take care of yourselves and I’ll try to be wittier in the future.