RSS Feed

Monthly Archives: May 2012

Penis Envy

Penis Envy

Here we go again with the genitalia-themed crafts.  I enjoy the word ‘plethora,’ and and pleased to use it now.  There is a PLETHORA of genetalia-themed crafts on etsy.  I have alreasy spelunked in the cave of vaginal craftiness, and now it is time for trouser sausage inspired crafts.  All of the items below are available on etsy right now, so hurry up and take this opportunity to own something that will make your parents proud and your friends jealous, something like……

Photobucket
We start with a little something for the ladies. Panties with a penis print for the girl who has it all, except a wiener.

Photobucket
A bag of crocheted, catnip-filled penises for your pussy to bat around. Bag o’dicks. It’s fun to say. Try to work those three words into conversation today.

Photobucket
Is that a flowered, stuffed fabric penis brooch on your chest,  or are you just happy to see me? It must be the former, since you don’t look at all happy to see me.

Photobucket

What happened when they made “There’s Something About Mary” into pincushion porn.  (Is that a thing?)  (Did I just invent it?)

Photobucket

“I hate men, but I would like to have a penis around, do you have a product for me?”   “Yes ma’am, yes we most certainly do.”

Photobucket

Dangling around your face, JUST HOW YOUR MOM LIKES THEM.

Photobucket

Has a crafty etsy seller enlisted their DAD to sell this racy apron?   Gah.

Photobucket

Have you seen those infomercials for that pillow-type item for large breasted ladies to put between their bewbs when they sleep on their side, for comfort?  You probably find that greatly amusing, unless you have big boobs and are instead thinking “hmmmmmm.  yes.  that WOULD be nice to have.”  Trust me on this one.  Anyway, I wonder if this anatomically correct pillow would also be helpful.  Just slide that ouioui between your jugs and ahhhh……comfort.  Will also scare burglars.  And possibly your cat.

Photobucket

I feel I’ve saved the best for last.  Really.  Penis gun?  What’s it shoot?  Yep.  And why does the south end look like lips?

Advertisements